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Gob: I (bleep)ed Kitty.
Michael: Oh, Gob! I just wanted you to get the information!
Gob: I got the information.
Michael: You did, huh. About the international accounts.
Gob: [pause] Oh I see what you're getting at. No, I didn't get any information.
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George: I haven't had sex in a month.
Michael: You know, you've been in prison for two months.
George: It's hard to gauge time in here.
Michael: Yeah, I bet.
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Michael: Life is short. Listen to me. I would give anything to have that again. You know, a family; nothing else matters.
Lucille: [enters the house] Michael!
Michael: It's mom, hide!
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Lindsay: I care deeply for nature.
Michael: You're wearing ostrich skin boots.
Lindsay: Well I don't care about ostriches.
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Lucille: I'll be at the hospital bar.
Michael: Uh, you know there isn't a hospital bar.
Lucille: This is why people hate hospitals. [laughs]
[Lucille laughs hysterically down the hall]
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Michael: You were flying today, buddy.
Buster: Yes, I was flying. But a little too close to the sun.
Lucille: You let him go into the sun!?
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Barry: Hey--my star witness! Come here! [Kisses Michael] Good to see ya! You know what? Don't get too close to me, 'cause I've got an itch you can't believe. I think something laid eggs on me.
Michael: Thanks for the heads up.
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Maeby: You don't see me nervous about being on my third Virgin Mary.
George Michael: Why would you be nervous? There's no alcohol in a Virgin Mary.
Maeby: There isn't? This is unbelievable. [to Waiter] Can I get a Virgin Pina Colada when you get a chance? [to George Michael] Now we'll get things started.
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George: You what?
Michael: Burned it right down to the ground.
George: Are you crazy? There was money in that banana stand.
Michael: Well, it's all gone now dad, and it was my decision. So next time you want to have a little power struggle, remember that you're playing with fire.
George: There was two hundred and fifty thousand dollars lining the walls of the banana stand.
Michael: What?
George: Cash, Michael.
Michael: Why didn't you tell me that?
George: How much clearer can I say, there's always MONEY IN THE BANANA STAND!
Guard: No touching!
George: No touching!
Guard: No touching!
George: No touching!
Guard: No touching!
George: No touching!
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George: You'd be an accomplice. No, it had to be your mom. [whispering] They cannot arrest a husband and wife for the same crime. [winks]
Michael: Yeah, I don't think that that's true, Dad.
George: Really? I got the worse (bleep)ing attorneys.
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Michael: Well I'm sorry, it's just, it's too late. I'm moving to Phoenix. I got a job.
[The rest of the family is speechless]
Michael: It's something you apply for, and they pay you to ah--Nevermind, I don't want to ruin the surprise.
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Michael: What comes before anything? What have we always said is the most important thing?
George Michael: Breakfast.
Michael: Family.
Geroge Michael: Family, right. I thought you meant of the things you eat.
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Michael: So, this is the magic trick, huh?
Gob: Illusion, Michael. A trick is something a whore does for money.
[Michael points to the young children overhearing their conversation.]
Gob: Or candy!
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